Omoiyari 思いやり in a Time of Grief: From Outrage to the Work of Reweaving

I’m holding this piece inside a wider field than opinion. Across the Great Southern Land, there is a shared grief that does not need to be named but to be felt. When something breaks in public life, the shock moves through us in waves. This may be a moment to let that shock deepen our questions, and to return to the slow intelligence that knows how to hold life.

Earlier this year in The Island Almanac, I wrote about the Art of Peace, then about Why Outrage is not Enough for Progress. What I want to reflect on now is how we recover a praxis (an idea into practice) of relationship: a lived, everyday practice of reweaving the social fabric, human by human, until belonging becomes more normal than polarity.

Many people are enmeshed with modern conditions that can under-hold us: urban speed, industrial economic models, dislocated community, hyper-mobility, the commodification of attention, and the quiet thinning of local civic life. In that atmosphere, nervous systems become more reactive, meaning-making becomes brittle, and complexity starts to feel like danger. The pull toward binaries, good and evil, for and against, my people and your people, often arrives as a search for certainty when the ground feels unstable. Not only that, algorithms reinforce these hardened attitudes.

Through Manfred Max-Neef’s lens, conditions for hardened attitudes in our social life are a symptom of unmet human needs: protection, affection, participation, and identity. When these needs are not reliably met, we reach for substitutes that imitate safety or belonging for a moment, while narrowing the relationships that could meet those needs more deeply. The invitation is to cultivate synergistic satisfiers: forms of community life that meet multiple needs at once, so complexity becomes holdable again and the social fabric can begin to knit. Think shared gardens, local markets, cooperative projects, and convivial gatherings that return people to one another in simple, repeated ways.

Anthroposophy offers me language for diagnosing these times without collapsing into blame. It begins with the human being as more than a political identity or an economic unit: a being of spirit, soul, and will, whose health depends on balance between thinking, feeling, and doing. When culture over-trains the head and under-nourishes heart and hands, thinking can harden into ideology, feeling can spill into volatility, and the will can lose direction. Outrage can then become both a moral signal and a discharge, and without a deeper container it can scorch relationship, the very medium required for transformation.

This is why I keep returning to an older seed-story in my own life. When I was eleven, I attended a peace conference in Japan with children from fifty-six countries. Since then, I have continued supporting the Asian-Pacific Children’s Convention in Fukuoka as a peace ambassador and chaperone for Australian children. At the heart of that gathering is what they call omoiyari 思いやり: a secular ethic of considerate attention, a discipline of recognising another’s reality and responding with care as a daily practice. It is sometimes described as “sending one’s thoughts to others.” I have come to understand it as the willingness to let another person matter enough that your actions adjust around their presence.

Photography by Emily Samuels-Ballantyne, at 2011 Asian Pacific Children’s Convention in Japan

Omoiyari is practical. You notice what might help someone feel safer, lighter, more included, and you respond, often before they need to ask. You make space in conversation. You slow your pace to match someone else. You bring what will help without announcing it. You choose words that protect dignity. This is small-scale, human-scale peacebuilding.

So what does it mean to practise omoiyari in Australia, especially when grief is close and the cultural atmosphere is hot with agitation? When the collective nervous system tightens and begins scanning for certainty, the work becomes a different kind of strength: to stay with the ache without turning it into a weapon, and to build social forms that can hold the human being.

Here, Steiner’s threefold social understanding offers a useful map for cultural repair. In the threefold picture, society is healthiest when three realms can breathe in their own way: a cultural and spiritual life free enough for living thinking, education, art, and meaning-making; a rights life that treats people as equal in dignity; and an economic life that becomes associative, cooperative provisioning of needs rather than extraction as the default. When these realms collapse into one logic, community thins, people become functions, and a function cannot feed a soul.

This is also where I want to acknowledge First Nations knowledge systems with care and humility. On this continent there are deep traditions grounded in Country, kinship, reciprocity, responsibility, and continuity. Without appropriating, we can still be guided by the ethical direction: relationship is the substance of life, and place is a teacher. When we listen respectfully to what First Nations people say about community life and gentle ways of living, we are called away from abstraction and back into pattern, where repair becomes a living act carried through relationship.

From this ground, I want to offer a nurturing kind of clarity for the forward vision: softness as life-making strength, the capacity to create conditions where something good can grow. This is clarity that illuminates rather than humiliates. It is authority expressed as stewardship, through conditions that help life thrive. In anthroposophical terms, it is the heart remembering it can sense what is true, and the will learning again how to serve life instead of moving from fear.

What might this look like in practice for Australians right now? It can look like rebuilding the village layer of society as deliberate culture-making. Small, repeated gatherings that thicken trust. Shared meals. Working bees. Repair cafes. Community gardens. Parent circles. Walking groups. Spaces where people can be present with difference without being reduced to their opinion. Alongside this, it can look like a civic skill we practise: returning to breath when outrage rises, so the nervous system stays inside the body and care remains capable of relationship. It can look like investing in cultural life that nourishes, including education, arts, local storytelling, and ritual. It can look like strengthening rights life so dignity is protected in practice, not only in principle. It can look like building more cooperative economic forms, including local food systems, co-ops, local energy, and care networks, so meeting needs becomes a practice of cooperation rather than a theatre of fear.

I have witnessed both the absence and the presence of omoiyari in Australia. I have seen politics harden and pressure erode compassion. I have also seen people show up quietly for one another, and neighbours carry each other through difficult seasons. Tasmania has been one lens for me, because on an island you can feel the social atmosphere quickly, yet this is not only a Tasmanian story. It is an Australian one.

This is the heart of what I want to offer as a continuation of my earlier essays: peace is a practice, outrage is a signal, grief is a threshold. The way through is slower and more human. It is the work of reweaving, rebuilding the social fabric until the binary spell loosens, until belonging becomes more normal than contempt, and until we remember that the opposite of polarisation is relationship strong enough to hold difference.

Omoiyari is not a foreign ideal. It is an attention-practice we can speak in our own language: care, neighbourliness, mateship made real, village culture built deliberately through the choices we repeat. The invitation now is simple and practical: to become cultivators of life, creating conditions where what is most human in us can grow again.

With love and Con Viv,
Emily / Dr Demeter

Emily Samuels-Ballantyne, PhD / Dr Demeter is a Tasmanian-based regenerative designer, biodynamic herb farmer, educator, and policy-oriented researcher. Her work brings together living systems design, conviviality, and place-based governance to help communities build conditions for care, belonging, and ecological repair. She leads Magical Farm Tasmania, a small farm and learning site, and Regen Era Design Studio, a design studio supporting community scale food systems, regenerative enterprise, and public sector reform. She is also developing Con Viv, a long-form body of work and practical framework for relationship-centred agriculture and cultural renewal.

Emily’s peace activism began early. At eleven, she attended an international peace conference in Japan with children from fifty-six countries. Since then, she has continued supporting the Asian-Pacific Children’s Convention in Fukuoka as a peace ambassador and chaperone for Australian children. Her public writing and community work focus on restoring the social fabric through everyday practices of attention, cooperation, and locally rooted cultural life.

Beauty Without an Agenda: The Inner World Mirror

(Companion to “Healing the Shadow of Stolen Land” - Peace in the Outer World Essay)
By Dr Demeter (Emily Samuels-Ballantyne, Magical Farm Tasmania)

The Mirror Turns Inward

For years, I have tended to the outer world, in the soil, the garden, the policy room and public spaces. I knew, theoretically, the importance of the inner world, but never gave myself the time to go deep, not in a true, embodied sense. But now I understand: the way I treat my own body is the way I treat the Earth.

Echinecia - a symbol of balance, peace, patience, moderation, inner calm, perspective, tranquility, harmonious relationships in Magical Farm. Photography by Ness Vandebourgh Photography

Biodynamic practice has been both a signal and a breaking point, revealing the limits of the old way, the burnout of doing without being. It has cracked me open to feel grief, to meet the shadow, and to descend into the inner world where regeneration truly begins. When I move through yoga or Pilates, I’m not striving to improve; I’m learning to inhabit. My body is my first ecosystem, a landscape of weather, soil, and song.

This is what I call beauty without an agenda, the act of moving, creating, or resting not for an outcome but for aliveness itself. It is the essence of Con Viv, to live with life, to participate once more in its living conversation.

The Inner Landscape of Regeneration

Carl Jung taught that healing requires the courage to meet the shadow, the parts of ourselves we deny or overextend. I have often lived in the shadow of the giver: pouring out vision and care until depletion whispered its quiet warning. Jung reminds me that what we do not integrate within will return to us through the outer world.

Rudolf Steiner would see this as an imbalance between the etheric and astral bodies: too much outward giving, not enough inward renewal. He speaks of the need for ‘rhythm’: day and night, work and rest, giving and receiving. Regeneration depends on that sacred breathing of life.

Tyson Yunkaporta would describe this as a “pattern distortion” a break in reciprocity between self and Country. When we move without listening, we step out of pattern. His custodial law asks us to live in right relation, to act as participants in the story of place rather than its authors.

And Joanna Macy offers a way back: her Work That Reconnects transforms burnout and despair into action through gratitude, grief, perception, and practice. She teaches that our pain for the world is proof of our belonging and that thread that reweaves us into community.

The Healing of Over-Doing

Many of us who care deeply for the world have forgotten to include ourselves in the circle of care. We overwork the soul as we have overworked the soil - the industrial and modern pattern is entrenched and the redesign requires us to break that pattern. The medicine and pattern we need in life is greater care and gentleness and part of this revolution is simply just to rest. Beauty without an agenda is how the overextended spirit learns to breathe again. It reminds me that the feminine act of receiving is not passivity, it is participation in the flow of creation.

The Embodied Commons

Our bodies are not private possessions; they are commons - microcosms of the planet itself. When one person slows down, the field shifts - as we are all part of an interconnected life system. When one person moves with grace, the world feels it, ah, how I need to remind myself of this again and again. In the language of our four teachers, this is the crossroads where the inner and outer worlds meet:

  • Jung’s integration of the shadow.

  • Steiner’s spiritual ecology.

  • Yunkaporta’s relational custodianship.

  • Macy’s collective awakening.

Together, they teach that the Earth feels through us, that every act of awareness in the body is a small awakening in the world.

The Voice of the Body - Chiron in Taurus, Activated by Aries

In my birth chart, Chiron, the Wounded Healer, rests in Taurus in the third house, the realm of communication and connection. It teaches healing through the ‘Beauty Way’: through embodied language and sensory wisdom. Yet as I write, transiting Chiron moves through Aries, lighting up my second house of self-worth and resources. Together, these transits open a deep dialogue between value and voice, how I speak, what I create, and what I believe myself worthy to receive.

For much of my teenage and adult life, I sought peace through words, by explaining, convincing, or teaching. The ‘education’ system took me out of my body and told me it was my mind that needed to navigate. But my heart and Chiron keeps guiding me back to something simpler: that the most profound communication is not spoken, but lived. I am now remembering myself as a child, in my garden, in nature, in my imagination and quite the introvert. This is my happy place. 

Taurus teaches that words are most powerful when they are rooted in the body, when the throat, heart, and hands speak together. Every breath, every gesture, every act of care becomes a form of language the world understands. This is the healing of my Chiron wound: learning that true communication is not persuasion, it is presence. And Aries’ fire now reminds me that self-worth is not a concept, it is a practice of being here, fully alive, in one’s own embodied authority.

Yarrow - The Plant of Integration, Presence and Initiation

At my front doorstep and throughout the farm, Yarrow grows freely, one of the first plants to greet visitors, one of the last to fade. She is both delicate and indestructible, soft and strong and a child of Venus and Chiron, and thus a true teacher of the Beauty Way.

Yarrow reminds me what embodied communication looks like in nature. She doesn’t speak, she radiates. In summer, I watch beetles and bees land upon her umbels; she receives them with grace and gives nourishment in return. I love watching this and feel so fulfilled that I have given so much life to the land and all of these beautiful living creatures. 

Yarrow on Magical Farm Symbol of integration, new beginnings, creative sparks, finding new passion, starting something, potential, talent … Photography by Ness Vandebourgh Photography

Yarrow, rooted in poor soil, thrives not through lack but through inner sufficiency and her ability to integrate what is around her and alchemise it into nourishment. Oh Yarrow, you beauty. She embodies the principle that Steiner called “etheric intelligence”: the plant’s capacity to mediate between Earth and cosmos and matter and meaning. Through Yarrow, I learn that true healing is about integration, being okay with complexity and ‘letting it be’. Like her, I am learning to root deeply, receive openly, and give back simply by being fully alive. Yarrow is my daily reminder that beauty without an agenda is enough.

Yarrow at Magical Farm’s Herb Drying Cob House by Ness Vandebourgh Photography

Praxis: Returning to Rhythm

At Magical Farm Tasmania, we practice this integration every week. Our Thursday Landcare gatherings begin in stillness, noticing our breath, our bodies, and the land’s quiet pulse before we touch the soil. In my body practice that I share in community which is called YoFence, the fusion of sword and yoga, we embody balance: the sword for boundary, the breath for belonging. Strength and softness meet as a new kind of dialogue, one where courage and compassion co-exist.

In January 2026, our YoFence Immersion at Urdara will offer seven days of this embodied communication: seven days of courage, conviction, and connection lived through the body as a prayer for the planet. 

The Inner World Mirror

Jung teaches: integrate. 

Steiner whispers: balance.

Yunkaporta reminds: relate.

Macy calls: reconnect.

And Yarrow, growing at my door, simply “is”. Together they form a mandala of inner peace that radiates outward. When we come home to our own embodiment, we are no longer separate from the world we wish to heal.

Conclusion - Living Beauty

Beauty without an agenda is the quiet revolution of our time. To move, rest, or create for no reason other than the joy of being alive is to align with the regenerative intelligence of Earth herself. When I inhabit my body as sacred ground, the land recognises me and in that recognition: soft, wordless, whole, peace begins again.

When I speak through my body, the Earth understands.
— Dr Demeter